Shona wisnae that keen on the campin’. She said that when she wis a wean she went tae a camp near Loch Ness and she got attacked bae monsters…naw, naw, no’ Nessie. Somethin’ much, much worse: MIDGIES.

Of coorse, Shona said she wisnae a wean noo, but her mither an’ faither said she wisnae an audult either.So when Shona’s pals said they were gaun doon tae the loch at the fit o’the ben fur tae hae a wee camp at the weekend, Shona wisnae keen at a’.

Up wi' the tent!

Her mind went back a’ thae years tae when the midges cam’ intae her tent an’ had her face an’ her haunds an’ her neck a’ rid raw wi’ their wee bites.

But then again, her pals were a’ gaun and there wid be nae mithers and nae faithers and the loch at the fit o’ the ben wis awfae faur awa fae Loch Ness, whaur thae muckle midgies lived.

So, Shona telt her pals: “Aye, I’ll come tae the campin’.”

It wis a gey dreich morning wi’ a wee smirr in the air when the five lasses set aff for their camp. Rosie looked at the clouds an’ said it wid be stoatin’ by dinner time.

The girls got aff the bus and walked through the heather and the bracken for ages. Then they fin’ a nice place, pit up their tent, built their fire and sterted cookin’ the dinner. They had a’ been tae the Guides the-gither.

Rosie was wrang. The clouds blew awa’ and the rain didnae come.

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1. Frankie Frog’s Friday Funeral